The Death of the Self
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I think committing yourself even to something as seemingly simple and inconsequential as drawing every day for five minutes is incredibly brave. Because to do that, you have to let yourself die.
Birth of an Identity
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The moment we’re born, we begin forming an identity. This is based on everything that happens to us and everything we see around us: the parents we’re born to, the life we’re born into, and the experience of being born itself.
As the years progress, this identity becomes more and more solidified and homed-in – specific. The things we do, eat, see, think, say; the house, country and society we live in; the religion we practice (or don’t); the education we have (or don’t have); the music we listen to; the books we read; the media were exposed to. It all shapes who we are. It all results in the formulation of a self-construct and, in other words, an identity.
So, by the time we’re age 9 or 18 or 50 or whatever age, we already have an idea of what it means to be us that’s been deeply, deeply ingrained.
It shapes who we are and, if nothing changes, who we will continue to be.
In order to form a new habit, that idea of us has to die and that’s why it’s so hard to form a new habit.
It’s the death of the self.
Starting Anew
To establish a new habit, you first have to be begin seeing yourself as a new person or, at the very least, as a new version of yourself. You have to start seeing yourself as someone who runs or gets stuff done on time or has whatever habit it is that you want to establish. Not only this, but also as someone who has the discipline, self-worth, and perseverance that it takes to pursue and maintain that habit.
The moment we desire change, we’re met with a decision. We have to decide whether we want to continue doing and thinking the same old things, living the old same life, and feeling the same way OR if we want to try to do better by doing something new.
But new is hard.
In my opinion, it’s a lot more helpful to realize, accept and admit that than it is to deny that it’s true. “New” means work.
“New” means there’s a lot to learn and you don’t know what you don’t know. But when you start, you go through a period where you know what you don’t know and it can be overwhelming: all the different skills, information, thought patterns, and so on that you now have to work to assimilate.
Besides that, you have to build a system for yourself. You can’t just go at it willy-nilly. You have to have a plan. But again, to know what plan will work and, more specifically, what plan will work for you, you have to know things that you likely don’t already know. You have to learn more about yourself – the kind of person you are: what drives you, what shuts you down, what inspires you and lights a spark and what doesn’t. And you have to know what expectations come with being that sort of person. So, for example, if you wanna be a YouTuber, are you expected to post every week, every two weeks, every month? How good do your videos have to be visually and content-wise, and how can you position yourself so that you’re talking about things that people are interested in, but so that you’re not just saying the same thing everyone else is already saying?
Work Smarter, Not Harder
Outside of learning more about yourself, you have to find tools and resources you can refer to and use when you don’t know something or you need something you don’t already have.
And this is all 10x harder when you don’t have some sort of a mentor to guide you.
Because now you, based on the limited knowledge you do have, have to decide what, out of all the information you find, is legitimate and useful to you and your situation. And that takes a lot of filtering and discernment, which takes a lot of time and energy.
Learning, Unlearning and Relearning
So, yes, building a new habit is hard. And, no, you aren’t a failure for finding it to be so. It requires a lot of working through self-doubt, fears and limiting beliefs and probably the opinions of other people, too. More than anything, though, forming a new habit is a head game. It’s a loaded thing that comes with a lot of hurdles because, like we all know, the mind can be a battle field, but it can be done. Always, remind yourself of that. It can be done.
You just have to be patient enough and wise enough to keep on trying.